Parents should share difficult news with children directly to ensure that the information provided is truthful and accurate. Children look to their parents for protection and guidance in difficult situations, and so maintaining an open and honest relationship is crucial.
Tips provided by a licensed mental health professional and assistant professor of clinical pediatrics at Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles include:
The Duke Department of Pediatrics offers more suggestions, including taking your child out for a special one-on-one experience. This can be as simple as going for a walk together and finding a quiet spot to talk. It can be helpful to share your own emotional response, although it’s important to remember that you are there to offer your child support, rather than receiving emotional support from your child.
You may find that your child will want to talk about his or her own feelings after an especially stressful event, and open-ended questions are often best for soliciting information. It can be as simple as “Can you help me to come up with a word that describes how you might feel right now?” Note that, while some children cope with stressful events more easily when they can express their emotions, others can feel sad and not know how to express those feelings.
If after you reassure your child, he or she is still struggling to come to terms with the traumatic event, you may want to schedule a family meeting with a mental health professional. The therapist can help you and your child to create a strategy to deal with the difficult emotions and find ways to move forward in a healthy manner.
There are plenty of resources to use, too, including the following:
Throughout the grieving process after the stressful event, continue to answer questions and to reassure your child that he or she is loved and protected.